Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Lazer Team



Is it unfair to walk out on a movie before seeing the end; say that the fact I have not finished it, it therefore sucks.  Or, as in real life I should finish it all before I pass judgement. Almost always I try the latter; at least it gives me the reasons why I think that of a movie.

Sometimes I feel it in the beginning the urge to walk out or in the front of the PC, it’s the urge to press stop.  There’s being fair and there’s the right to keep your sanity. 

Almost always that first urge is triggered by the visual. Lazer Team is classified as a science fiction movie.  Sci-fi nowadays carries with it visual expectations and suffice to say the movie screams cheap and under budget – lights, composition, sets, costume.


We can use the very premise of the story as an example. Earth received a message that tells of both doom – a powerful evil alien race is coming – and of hope – don’t despair we can arm you or more accurately a champion.  Keep in mind this is just a message; it’s a hologram as translucent as Casper but not as cute and blue.  I didn’t see Pixels but you can just imagine the graphics in that movie and turn it a handful of notches down.

As far as logic goes the government, the army, just swallows everything and prepares a champion. Would you do the same without the threat of an armada like War of the Worlds?

The second issue that wakes the urge, Lazer Team is a comedy. Suffice to say I did not end up on the floor laughing but the movie had a weird energy to it.  It felt like a series of commercials put together into a movie.  Either its bad delivery; actors who a merely hitting their marks or bad script. I never felt a continuous rhythm.  Scenes feel like something’s always going up, cuts, and a new scene begins.

The third, well, I won’t call it an issue because I appreciated its construction and execution – which was above water, barely.

Remember how the alien promised to arm Earth?  As it turns out the armament was a set of weapons and protection meant for only for one man, but as fate had it the delivery was intercepted by four unlikely heroes – a weapon set for one now divided by four.

No surprise, they were dysfunctional but with interesting ironies and symbolism especially with the part of the weapon they ended up using.

The young highschool quarterback got the lazer canon he has no aim.  Deputy Sheriff gets the energy shield but he carries an emotional baggage from highschool football when he missed a big block as a halfback. In short a protector who can’t protect. His partner running back who busted his knee because of the missed block gets the alien boots which gives speed.  The village idiot sums up the helmet granting intelligence.

I gave this movie a chance on this note. They were well drawn out, dysfunctional people who have a goal. There were learning moments which made them adjust and learn until they became a team. The development of the four until they became a team made more sense than the two heroes of Batman vs Superman ending up fighting.


Of course the Lazer Team together doesn’t look or deliver half as good compared to either Ben Affleck or Henry Cavill.  Going back to bad visuals, barely acceptable delivery – you still want to watch or not??