Saturday, August 09, 2008

Children's Choice

Holy Mother Church: that’s how Catholics call the organization sometimes, never minding the fact that females are never allowed to rule it.

The Priests are referred to as father but I wonder why because they are neither a parent nor gods to deserve the title.

So it’s not surprising that the Church invoked the analogy of a parent giving advice to a child; rather, a parent choosing for a child regarding matters like this controversy over the Reproductive Health Bill. In their minds it’s enough to trample on the principle of separation of church and state (a principle their European counterparts seem to abide by) when the child, in this case the Philippines, needs to be straightened out. Never mind if the surveys say a growing number want the bill to be passed, a parent should correct a child.


And never mind that we are not 100% catholic.

I suppose the first question would be who made them the parents. Is it just because the Roman Catholic Church is the most powerful group in a predominantly Christian nation? But we are not all catholic, we are not all religious; surely no child should follow someone who is not his parent.

Adapted child perhaps? Maybe forcibly kidnapped is the word.

But ok, let’s give the parent analogy a chance. How can the wishes and the views of a parent be so wrong however nagging and out of touch it may seem at some point.

It is hard to argue with a parent and we have all been there; a child with a mother and father. We have never gone astray with the choices our parents have made for us. Of course as a child we’ve never agreed to it, having little choices for the issues close to our hearts, but it played out well in the end.

We are where we are now because of our parents ‘nosing’ in our business.

And these choices are one or more of the following. I am not a parent admittedly but I was a son, also I have met other parents and I’m friends with people who are parents.

The choices include little things and big things such as: name, religion; time to sleep; clothes to wear; school to study in; going to school on a rainy day; brush their teeth or just watch TV and save it for the next morning; food to eat; course to take in college; places to go on weekends; friends; boyfriends/girlfriends; curfew; career….

The list goes on depending on the parent; depending on the style of parenting. While some of the above mentioned choices may be left to children, it is not too much to presume that had they made a bad one (or anything they disagreed with) the parents will be hot on their heels in correcting it.

They are good choices all, but then again maybe some of them went wrong. And even if you disagreed with any in this list you are at least aware that good intentions were always behind in making it. There is nothing wrong in what parents do. There is nothing wrong in what motivates them.

In seeing that could it be enough to explain the passion of the Roman Catholic Church regarding this issue of birth control: a distraught parent correcting an errant child? Should we accept the encroachment on national policy based on that analogy alone? For how can a parent be wrong in making their presence felt. As for me, if I had known what I know now when I was 6 years old I might have yes all the way to what my parents wanted.

However, if you look at the analogy of parent and child from the point of view of just the child and there you will see what is wrong.

What does it say of the child who always depends on the decisions parents make?

If the child is young nothing at all, the child is just a child. No expectations of greatness or criticisms of insufficiency. But like any repetitive exercise it gets old like a child gets old. When a certain age is reached then comes the more hurtful terms like mama’s boy or papa’s boy.

What truly makes a child great; what makes children bad; what makes people of value to society or a good human being; (and ok let’s do the church’s point of view) what makes them a good Christian, are the choices they made on their own.

Maybe you can call it an informed choice because parent’s opinions are always welcome and weighed along with others, but a choice made alone (for good or bad) is still of greatest value.

Outside of that a child is just a child.

So in the light of the Church’s encroachment on national policy like the RH Bill, you may have heard the Philippines being called the sick man of Asia, well this time try Mama’s Boy or maybe Papa’s boy since the Catholic Church is headed by a Pope.

But if you are truly upset on the encroachment there is still a better term for the Philippines: Retarded.

2 comments:

  1. I'm a parent, Igme. When my daughter asks me for advice, I ask her what her options are. And for each option, I try to give the pros and cons as I see it. I also tell her what I would have wanted her to choose, with the reminder that I won't take it against her if she chose what I didn't.

    In most instances, she chose what I would have chosen.

    Now, what does THAT say about me as a parent? (Like the Church which is not composed of practicing parents?)

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  2. a parent in favor of giving "informed choice" :)

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